So, I Met The Plug

Posted: June 28, 2017 by Harper

Listen, so I’m on my annual road trip headed to Maine and I realized I needed to update my blog! We will see how far I get before my mom interrupts me being a bother but y’all I met the plug. Well I been knowing him but it’s just that I never really considered doing drugs until now. Not that I will make it a habit because I already signed up for a barber so I cannot afford any other extracurriculars unless I start bussing it wide open.

I’m rambling.

How do I say this without incriminating myself further (lol my mom just interrupted me)?

The times and places will be made up so I don’t get anyone arrested.

So about two weeks ago, I was working the cash register at Kroger when a customer walked in and asked me to help them type a paper for their social economics class, I was wondering why he asked me and not anyone else but whatever. I’m a helpful neighborhood Kroger employee so I clocked out to give him my undivided attention. His friend was there touching near my thighs and squeezing at my feet, admiring my new shoes. The NMDs are amazing by the way. We joked and laughed as I briefed him on macros and micros and rearranged his sentences to my liking.

When I was done we joked and he got up from his seat at the congressional hearing and said, “I got that loud.”

I asked him to repeat himself but by then he got into this rocketship that was boarding for the moon. I hear the moon is delightful in the summer. Honestly though, when he said it I laughed and was like I do not do drugs but then I just got curious and said why not? Unless it’s laced with the shenanigans but I won’t go down that worrisome rabbit hole. Not today devil.

My buddy that I work with at the salvage yard, Bobby, invited me to smoke out in the back of his pickup truck. I was hesitant but I said why not but then he took an earlier shift the night of so I started to get the bright idea that I wanted to buy my own loud pack.

So when my customer came back from fighting the genocide of the East African Ants of Guatemala, I called him over and asked the prices for the loud. Now granted I didn’t say this out loud, I have a bit of street credit within this square of a shell, I spelled it out with my fingers like a real OG.

He went over the prices really fast. I was overwhelmed and told him I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about and he said he would show me after we got out of Psychology class.

Mind you, his car was parked dead in front of the police station but he asked me to come down to see the product. It reminded me of Spanish men shoving cigars in my face trying to get me to smell the value but I just look at them real blank like okay?

Although I know nothing about the juana, it had a strong scent to it and I know people say that’s a good thing. So soon guys when I go back to the White House, I will get lifted for the first time and I’m kind of excited to see what the fuss is about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Comment

  • Carmen June 29, 2017 at 3:40 am

    HILLLLLAAAARRRRIIIOUUSSS

    Reply

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