I am supposed to be sleep but I just bought my AFI Fest tickets (which I’ll talk more about on my travel blog ) and not to brag but that pass was $400 and the fact that I been overspending on make up and food but my budget still worked out has me gassed.
A year ago, I was sick, depressed, lonely and, even though I’d never do it, damn near suicidal. I got fired, ended up at a dead end job underpaid and my medical bills would not stop. EVERY time I’d move ten steps forward, I’d get knocked three universes back. My budget never worked out. I’d be crying in my room because my life had my brain so cluttered I’d forget to pay bills and rent. Late fees ate my ass up. My granny died. My uncle died.
Then I quit that job and stepped out on faith.
To be here. Not perfect but loving myself. Twerking three times a day to keep the fuck niggas away. Having my path lit and God guiding me to do and have everything I want. Even if its small things like moving one seat up at a concert to get the best shots or my coworkers coming through with the snacks. I’m appreciative.
I’m so appreciative but it’s terrifying to be so happy and positive. When I did that math to check my budget after working all this overtime and realized that after I carried the two that life was lit? I actually cried in the elevator.
Let me tell you about my week so far:
- My great uncle died.
- This man tried to run me off the road.
- My supervisor propositioned me for sex.
- My bill for my invisalign had a late fee because I did not get the email that my minimum payment went up and forgot to check.
- Tostada stay leaving me on read.
And its Tuesday. I have reasons to sulk, be mad and sad but here I am drinking Arizona Tea, typing this blog wishing it was Thursday so I could laugh and watch YouTube videos all night twerking. Wait, I’m wishing it was afternoon Wednesday so the rest of my Fenty Beauty can be delievered. Hallelujah. Amen.
But I have never felt like this in my life. It’s not even the happiness part that trips me out but the feeling of it all being purposeful. These things are not falling into place just for the sake of it. I’m excited to see where I’m being led to. I wish I had That’s So Raven vision!