I am pretty sick of the mantra, “God helps those who help themselves.” because I’ve been working overtime to make myself available and open to meeting new people but I don’t seem to meet anyone longlasting.
What does a girl have to do to meet people who won’t disappoint me, who show up for me and support me 100% through everything? Someone I could call and say, “Hey, let me hold $50.”
Growing up shy, I have never been good at making friends and the friends I did make were never worth the time spent. I’ve had a friend who tried to sell my virginity to their 40-year-old brother, friends who would let me book a trip to visit them and then try to third wheel me into dates with their boyfriends, friends who’ve asked me to hang out and I end up in a strange house watching TV with a stranger while she has loud sex with someone.
There’s more but we would be here for twenty-nine years going through them all.
I’ve been trying to work on not cutting everyone out of my life when they get on my nerves. I’ve been setting standards for what I will and won’t accept. I have 15 contacts in my phone. Five are supposed to be deleted. Five are people who I talk to every blue moon and then there’s the five that I give the time of day. Some new breaths of fresh air and then some hanging on by a thread because they’re just not cutting it but I just let them annoy me because I don’t think it’s healthy to be without human contact.
In a perfect world, I’d have a friend that I would happily name my maid of honor in my wedding, a friend that would show up for the important days of my life, a friend who would celebrate me without asking and a friend who would help elevate me because my wins are her/his wins. I want a family. I want people who get me, won’t leave me when they have kids or get in a relationship. I want someone that I can text “I’m sad.” and get a reply back the same week. I want the Godmother/father to my children. I want traditions. I want vacations. I want people who would kill for me. Whose promises mean something. People who want to do the things that I want to do.
This whole year (lol) I’ve been liking pictures with so much envy on Instagram like where are these people meeting their friends? As an adult, where do you meet the people who are about something more than being users? I’ve been joining Facebook groups related to my interests to help me seek out people. I really really want a good heterosexual guy friend.
I am really going to be working overtime to find these relationships I want and try to make the ones I have better so I can have what I need. I thought the only hard time I would have with relationships in adulthood would be finding a husband but damn it’s all of them.