The Progression Of…

Fuck it. Let’s Manifest.

I was on Instagram per use and I got a little upset because I don’t know if I will ever have the experience any of the things that my peers have. I feel so shut out of life experiences and I’m like what did I do wrong where I don’t have those experiences. I don’t have close friends, never been in love, never been celebrated and loved on. All I know is being used as a means to an end so I want it to end.

I don’t want to complain about it but I want to speak love and light into my life. I want friends that will celebrate me, my life, and my milestones. Who do more adding to my life than subtracting. They build onto my energy and open doors for me. People who say they love me but I don’t see them treating me any different than someone else they say that they love. People who I don’t have to second guess. People who I know will show up for me and show out. Birthdays won’t be spent on islands alone. Summers won’t be spent begging people to spend time with me. They just do because they just know and they just love me.

I want to be seen. And when I’m seen, I want to be heard. And after hearing me, I want to be hugged and poured into. And the most important part is that I’m allowed to do the same. When my friends have problems, they seek me. When my friends have children, they invite me in. When my friends are in love, they let me celebrate them. They let me feel included because I’m their person.

I need to be somebody’s person. I can travel the world alone and learn all about myself but I rather experience and learn someone else too.

That’s it. That’s the prayer.

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2 Comments

  1. Damn I felt like I could have wrote this myself you hit the nail right on the head! Literally every word in this entry is exsctly what I’ve been going through . Like you , I feel like I’ve been shut out from basic life experiences like love, true friendship and why? .its depression and gets me down cause I know I’m a good person with a lot to give people .

  2. Damn I felt like I could have wrote this myself you hit the nail right on the head! Literally every word in this entry is exsctly what I’ve been going through . This gets me down every single night to the point where I’m even questioning what am even here for ? Like you , I feel like I’ve been shut out from basic life experiences like love, true friendship , sucess , even just being seen and why? .it gets me down cause I know I’m a good person with a lot to give people . Thank you for this .

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